Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
