so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You ate ashes out of my bong
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
