i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Randomize
