The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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