Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I will pee on everything he values.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
