It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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