I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
