obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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