you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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