please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
