Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
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