Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...

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(308): View more from Nebraska

Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?

(1-308): View more from Nebraska

i hate being the asshole.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads

(1-203): View more from Connecticut

Like Teddy Roosevelt

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(307): View more from Wyoming

this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.

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(212): View more from New York

When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.

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(510): View more from California

Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.

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