id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
