Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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