Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
