Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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