how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
