I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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