Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
