all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
