ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
