I feel great
I just peed on a car
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
