chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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