so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
