If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
