Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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