He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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