Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
