it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
