Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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