i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
