He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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