Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
is wine microwaveable?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
