I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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