dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
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I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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