hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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