Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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