I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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