Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dignity is for republicans.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
