he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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