Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
