do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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