party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
