the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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