You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
