watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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