You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
