He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
