is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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