the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
