your room smells of hookers.
And success
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
