i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
