i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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