Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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