A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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