You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
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Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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