It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
