I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
