No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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