This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
