At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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