Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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