She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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