I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
