Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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