I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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