4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize