i don't like sucking hair
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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